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08 March 2012

Survivor One World - Ignorant, rich, white kid with a black maid calls the shots.

Episode Four. I just recently (like yesterday - or would it be considered today? It might not because I won't publish this until after midnight...) posted week three. I'm looking forward to this week though - the women seem to be making this an actual game.
Why do they keep showing Colton saying, "I'm sorry. I am not a democrat. I'm a republican. I don't believe in handouts."
Hahaha...they call them "the misfit" and "the muscle" alliances. Michael is getting a little scared. He's saying they should continue to vote out the strong guys so that they can continue to lose.
Tarzan is a plastic surgeon. Interesting.
I can't believe Leif is sleeping in the crate that had their rope in. That's awesome! I suppose it's a smart idea. He stays dry and warm.
Bill is dangerous according to Tarzan.
I want the new iPad.
Salani Tribe: Are they really eating like tiny, tiny snails? They have all the fishing gear and a boat. I guess they aren't starving, so informs Monica.
The men have raced over to the women's tribe and they really want to use the net. "We are willing to give you half of it." Really...you are willing to give them half of the bounty? They should get a little bit more than half. Jonas says that they are doing all alright - they are getting enough food. The men will do all the work and the women get half the fish caught. Troyzan doesn't understand why the women are being hard asses about the net. I do. They are finally in a good position. Troyzan is wondering why the women don't want to suntan on the beach while they go out and get all the food and the women will get half for doing nothing. They aren't letting you use the net because you aren't getting as strong as they are! The men will need more food to keep up their strength and the women are doing just fine...they don't need the guys to get them food when they are capable of getting their own.

Reward Challenge: The game is starting to feel like it did way back when. The challenge is to take out five targets in a row with a slingshot.
They will win a choice of one of three things - comfort, protection, or luxury.
Bill is sitting out this one. Monica and Colton - Neither one of them knocked out a tile. It's like the tiles are made of wood and they just splinter.
Kat and Tarzan get one point each. They still have to get five in a row. The men have 2 targets out now. Monica knocked out one. Sabrina knocked out another one...they have two of five matched up. To be honest this challenge is really boring, not only to watch but, to write about.
Women have three connected - now four. One target left at the very bottom. Jonas is up for the men. Chelsea could win it. She knocked out another one, but it wasn't the one they needed for the win. Monica could now win it AND WOMEN WIN REWARD! Three in a row! Sweet.
Thank GOD. I thought they were going to take the donuts. They took the tarp. They need a tarp. I'm so glad. I really was waiting for them to grip the donuts. The LOML thought they should have grabbed 'em just to eat them in front of the guys.
Tarzan thinks they won from luck. I think he's just fun. I really do. I like the way he uses his words.

One of the guys said that they didn't get a chance to learn the game. Bill says, "Neither did they." That was awesome. Bill and Leif are talking about the idol. Leif just told Bill that Colton wanted him to be voted out. Bill's not too happy about that. He just got "wowed". He just learned that his head was on the chopping block. He now knows the game is on.

"That little munchkin...is about to get knocked back to Oz," Colton, AKA DICKhead. Michael is really trying to stir it up. Colton asked Leif what he told him and now he's trying to act like he's the king of the island. So now, Leif has apparently sealed his fate. COLTON! DID YOU REALLY JUST CALL LEIF AN OOMPALOOMPA? For real? So, Leif knows he messed up and he hopes that he can redeem his status in the tribe and Colton is an ass.

I want the new iPad.

Treemail is a puzzle. They will be in pairs. Alicia got all fired up because Kat said she didn't think they should be partners because Kat herself is not that good at puzzles and therefore she must think Alicia sucks at them too. It's really good Sabrina is on their tribe. She's pretty cool headed. She's a high school teacher so I guess she deals with this type of silliness all the time.

The challenge is to get puzzle pieces and keys and raise up a flag. Jonas is sitting out for the men. Oh, they are doing this puzzle in pairs.
Colton and Tarzan paired up for the men.
Alicia and Chelsea are taking forever. They peaked over at the men's finished puzzle, but the men are already almost done the entire thing. Finally they get the first key and are now working on the second puzzle.
Michael and Jay finished.
Troyzan and Bill on the third and final puzzle.
Kim and Sabrina are working on the second puzzle.
Tarzan is yelling out CHEATER because the women are looking at the finished puzzles. Who cares? Okay, he's annoying me now.
Leif has two locks and the third lock and the men have raised their flag. MEN WIN IMMUNITY.

Which woman will go home? I hope they send Alicia or Kat home.
Colton is an ignorant bastard. Ignorant. I don't think I can say it enough.

Sabrina is pissed off with Alicia, "She's just dead weight with a mouth."
Bill wants to talk to Colton so they can clear up whatever beef they got between them. Colton is being annoying and doesn't want to talk to him. He covered up his eyes and ignored him and then he told him that he doesn't want to be around him. Colton can't stand him. Colton hates him so bad he is asking if the guys want to trade out the immunity so that the men can go to tribal and vote out Bill. Jonas doesn't like that idea, but Colton is calling the shots right now. Why is Colton calling the shots right now? Jay believes this is a hasty decision.
Apparently the girls have let the guys use the fishing gear. I can't believe they didn't tell us about that. This was such a huge deal.
Tarzan thinks they are going to tribal counsel to vote out Leif. Jay has no idea what the hell is going on. Tarzan says Leif betrayed everyone and he needs to go home. Jay is under the impression that Bill would go home. Colton and Tarzan are the only ones that put their hands up to go. Jay, "I'm completely bum-puzzled right now." THIS is the quote of the week.
I can't stand Colton.
Who will it be at tribal! HOLY crap! They guys are at tribal counsel. How stupid.

"24 seasons, some 100 tribal counsels, never had a tribe arrive at tribal counsel after winning immunity."
Troyzan is explaining why they are at tribal. So, they are voting off Leif because he told Bill that he was going home. Is this just a ruse? Seriously? Do other people know that this is a joke and they are voting Bill out? Are they voting Bill out? What the hell is going on?
Jay is the smartest one in this game so far. I'm not even kidding. He's at least honest and is clearly able to say that he does not understand what the hell is going on. Colton doesn't like Bill because he's obnoxious and loud. And now Colton is telling him that he needs to get a new job because Bill is a stand up comic. Colton apparently has African American people in his life - his maid. Seriously. Bill finally called Colton out. Bill asked Colton to not look down at him.
Why does Tarzan always stick up for Colton? He's apparently fed up with race talk - they have a black president for crying out loud. Colton is from Alabama and he's a prick. I'm not going to edit that out. He has no idea about life. His mind is small. I would love it if they blind-sided him tonight. How sweet would that be? He didn't play the idol...maybe...shit. Bill is voted out.
Colton totally got all the men to go to Tribal just to vote out the poor black guy. AND they all went for it! Wow. I don't understand it.
Apparently something crazy happens next week. I wonder if they are mixing up the tribes.

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