15 February 2012

Survivor 24! One World! South Pacific...again?

Hello, hello, hello! We are back at it...
We meet some of the men. We've got a gay guy and a playa, a sushi chef, and an old guy with a giant stash. 2 tribes living together on one island. First time ever...this will happen.
Ooooh, bats. The rats with wings.
Sounds like Probst has a cold. He was standing outside of a helicopter! Is he nuts? Did they have him crazy glued to it? It was flying away and he was leaning against the outside of it on the rails.
"Welcome to Survivor."
Probst, "Courtney, where do you fit in with the other women? - she doesn't fit in anywhere she says. Why are you wearing a fish hat? Not to mention it's a touque in the South Pacific. Maybe that's why you don't fit in. Flamboyant guy is wearing pastel golf shirt with a sweater tied around his shoulders. There are 2 TARZANS! I'm not lying at all. Awesome! Colton is the sweater knot guy's name and he believes himself to be, "...the girl within the guy tribe."
Manono Orange Tribe for Men. Salani is Blue for the women.
The LOML pointed out that Jeff is wearing a blue shirt and an orange hat and she knew these would be the tribe colours.

They got to strip the truck of everything they could. The truck was loaded with useful Survivor type things. There's one guy stealing shit from the women's pile! What a douche! hahahaha! This season is going to be fun.

The women are left with like nothing! They took all their stuff. The little man said that they did not take anything when asked where all their stuff went. Liars. It's so obvious.
This season will still have hidden immunity idols. There is no redemption island. So, if you are sent home you are sent home. Good.
The girls ended up with all the food. The thief should get sent home  first. He is relentless though.
As both tribes are sent on different directions unbeknownst to all of them that they will be on the same island we see other silliness...for instance...
They are in the jungle carrying heavy fire wood. Is that necessary? Is it even enough to last longer than about an hour and a half? Leif was carrying the heaviest articles and the sushi chef was quite impressed, "He's a buff little dude."

The old guy said that they had to trek 100's of miles. I doubt it. I don't think it was that far away.

Fricken Courtney - chick with the tattoos and redonKulous touque was carrying a pan. A PAN. Someone else was trying to carry a heavy load with another person AND she had an entire bundle of coconuts in the other hand. They had to ask Courtney to put the pan in the slung basket and take the bundle of coconuts. First alliance set up ten minutes into the game: Kat, Sab, and Kim with Alicia and  another girl.

So, they get to the camp and they realize they'll be camping together.

Three, four, five chickens just running free. First thing they do is try to hunt the chicken. They probably ate last like three hours ago. The country girl caught the first chicken and then she got another one. She's awesome! Her name is Chelsea. Bahahaha, after the men and women make a deal to share the spoil the girls reneged. Now they want to barter for the poultry. Is it fair? I mean the guys did steal from the women at the beginning. They sort of started it all.

"Give us that chicken as an apology..." douche bag attorney, Matt. What do they have to apologize for? You guys stole all their shit.

Colton's just sitting there on a log feeling sorry for himself. He's not doing anything. So, the girls are taking him under their wing while he not help out his tribe AT ALL.

Matt (lawyer) said that Colton is going to have a hard time because he is not trying at all to fit in. No one seems to have an issue with his sexuality. So, now Colton is saying that he will be a mole in the female tribes. Colton already wants Matt gone.

Three of the guys are peacock-ing - shirts off abs exposed.

The first alliance of men are: Big Mike, Jay Bird and Bill with Matt. Colton would be the swing vote with the other four being: Leif, Jonas, Troy, and Greg.

Sabina likes Colton because he's funny but she's being a little wary at the same time.

Cool - one of the Survivors is crafting a makeshift bow drill-type-fire-starting-thing. The model (is not that person) is clear that there are two tribes. The men got their fire going first.

Sabina asked if they could start them a fire and they would give them a chicken.

The little man gets free funnies I think. And I don't think he minds. By that I mean lots of cuddles and things. Now the women are talking about taking pants off for fire. Now the men propose a pole dance naked might get them fire. One of the guys said that they've only been there hours and they aren't that hungry yet. He followed that by saying to the cameras something about them "Comin over here with yer set a taters on ya..." bahahahaha! I'm pretty sure that was Troy. He's one of the old guys. He wins quote of the week.

I can't believe the women are so typical and trying to barter their own bodies for fire. Is it typical?

What's wrong with the male-model's voice?

The girls are finally doing something smart. They are creeping over to the fire after everyone has fallen asleep to steal it! I hope they get away with it. THEY DID IT. Will it start when they get to their side of the camp? Commercial break, how convenient. Christina was part of the raid, but they fricken let it go out. There are a fuck load of bats. Now the girls want to work together. They just negotiated 20 palm fronds weaved. Alicia is getting annoyed with Christina - ready to "punch her in the face." She should just put a shawl across her breasts and stop worrying about Christina.

Sabrina found the hidden idol. She better hide it. Bahahaha! She found the one for the men's tribe. She has to give it up to one of them. I think she has to give it to one of them by the next tribal council. Colton's super pumped. I don't know if that's true...how would they know she found it.

The challenge: Jump 20 feet onto a net...walk balance beam...walk rope bridge and then I got distracted. They're playing for immunity in the end. They are also winning fire reward.

Jeff has to give instruction so people don't get hurt. Courtney needs to go home very soon. Everyone is losing their shoes. It's like they've never been on trampolines before. Men are in the lead thus far. Women are now ready to go too. Apparently Courtney is very hurt. Does she need medical? Should she just get kicked out? The FIRST CHALLENGE AND YOU NEED MEDICAL! She's all faint. I thought she was supposed to be a tough mechanic. Update: Courtney landed on the net and maybe broke her arm. Maybe. It's unclear right now so they need to do an xray. She should just be out of the challenge. I'd be pissed. They have to wait there? They don't have to wait. They are bending the rules...men can take the victory and send the girls to tribal. Or. Continue the challenge and see who wins...Jeff's tip? Don't piss off half the players! HAHAHAHAHAHA! The men are sending one of the women home. Challenge is over.

Object is to win...lots of time to prove they can win. The men declared that the challenge is over and the women are going to tribal. Nina started swelling up on her lips for what she believes to be no reason!  Kim is annoyed with the men's decision, but she kind of gets it. On the other hand, she's from Texas and no guy she knows would have made that choice.

Colton loves Sabrina. He said so. Right after she gave him the idol.

Poor Nina...her face is so swollen.

Sabrina is hoping Courtney is not going to come back. I would have voted her out either way...whether or not she got hurt. Now this other girl (Alicia) wants to get Christina gone. She's angry about everything, Alicia I mean. I think Christina is just nice and trying to work with the men to the advantage of all. I mean, they don't show us everything, I'm not that naive.

TRIBAL: Alicia...she's the angry one and she likes to bond with women more. Really? Kat is asked about who is leading...she thinks everyone has their own job. Christina explains her role in the fire debacle and then Alicia cuts her off and she's such an itchbay! OMG. They are annoying. I would start to cut. I would find a frond that would slice my skin if I had to live on that tribe. They are already bickering more than high school. Poor Kat is hiding her head like I am. Alicia threatened (out loud mind you) that she would PUNCH HER (her being Christina) IN THE FACE. They've known each other for like three days. Jeff didn't even flinch.
LOL...Jeff just said they were NUTSVILLE. Can you believe it? I mean it's true, but I don't know if he should have said it. Update on Courtney's status: She's fine, but she needs surgery. No one else is going home tonight. She broke her wrist in a few places. Maybe the girls just need to duke it out. Now I feel a little bit bad about insinuating she was wimpy...she was though, right?

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR: "Colton is a virus," Sabrina.

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