...and it was fucking delicious. I know...vulgar statement all around. Not only did I consume "the taint" contaminating my car, I also dropped an "F" bomb. Perhaps this combination of nasty makes for something somewhat palatable? I could be stretching it.
Interesting observation - I am doing the exercising, eating healthier (for the most part...don't judge - judgy-judgerson), and trying to be present - HOWEVER - when I pulled up to the Tim Horton's drive-thru I was present enough to notice I was throwing away THREE (3) take-away bags from McD's and all that remained inside was McShame. McShame I tell you. What did I do? I tossed the bags and wondered what the person behind me was thinking and 'how dare they judge me' thoughts came to mind. What else did I do? Tonight after the CLiFF (labour film festival) and after a long overdue coffee date with my friend and then after getting gas and milk...I pulled into McD's and ordered a McChicken sandwich. I was "hungry". You know what I mean? The, 'I really didn't eat timely today so I'm going to eat shit food' kind of hungry. I loved every bite of that McShame. I always get onions, pickles, and tomato added. Delish.
I wonder what my lesson is here. Am I not eating enough? I'm eating throughout the day...I start with a protein shake, breakfast a bit later (eggs/oatmeal), lunch, snack (yoghurt/protein bar/fruit), and then dinner. And sometimes I have ice cream - mint chocolate chip - okay...honestly, I typed those words Mint Chocolate Chip and I had a daydream. I paused and fantasized about how much I love it. It's so good. It is really good...I'm not kidding.
Maybe I should eat a little more ... I get the good stuff...veggies, protein, dairy, fruit and I exercise and then I think it should be fine if I have those extra foods. I suppose there is nothing wrong with me doing this. I will keep better control over the McCrap cravings. I should have just had a protein bar from the backseat of my car. That's what they are there for - in case the cravings hit. At least there is something fuel worthy in them. :) So, the observation I suppose is me acknowledging that I can still be healthy and at times indulge - but I need to keep myself in check and recognize when and why I'm craving when I do.
Time for bed.