Oh dear me. I've started back to shift work. I have to do night shifts. I don't know what I think of it so far. I know it will get better. I'm trying to adjust to it though. Seriously. I'm having to deal again with shitty procrastination and I know I will overcome, but I honestly look for anything else to do EXCEPT what I should be doing. Right now I had all the plans in the world to clean house, self, and complete a chapter for school. What have I done? I did my free Bejeweled Blitz spin, checked my banking, took Moksha for a walk (we even went shorter than usual so I would have time to get everything done before the LOML gets home from work), and I plugged my iPhone for music into the stereo. I've also started this blog post.
I'm still zazen-ing. I have to push myself to get up there and do it. I'm ensuring to do 15 minutes instead of cutting it short. I've noticed that I find more difficulty in sitting right now. Pains in my right ankle and knee. I am uncomfortable. I figure my body is a little shifted with the night shifts added to my life. I have to work through it there is no other way around it. I also noticed pain in my back, left knee, and there is more itchiness in random spots...the other day on my right cheek I struggled to NOT scratch my face off in the middle of my sitting. The time is going by at a good pace. I don't feel like I'm sitting for a hundred years or anything like that.
This afternoon's sitting was a struggle for me. I made it a struggle. I was sitting just fine. I've gone back to half lotus (my version of it anyhow). My ankle was KILLING me - okay not really killing me, but I was in pain. I wasn't going to check the time. I wasn't going to move my leg. I thought about it and thought about it. I sat in the pain for a short period and figured I should see how much longer and then decide what I would do about the pain if anything. I noticed that I still had two minutes left. I decided to move my leg and then quickly recognized that I put myself in more pain than I had been in in the first place! I should have stayed exactly how I was and just felt it and did my breathing. I got through the itch on my cheek by breathing into the annoyance and it quickly went away. No, this time I took the "easy" way out which as it seems ends up being the harder route in the end.
Okay, okay...with that - It is more difficult to put shit off until the last possible minute and just go and get it done now. I will get up from this computer and do the dishes. I should shower soon after that. I'm getting caught up in a "planning" mode and that just takes me away from my "doing" mode. However, sitting here typing away is detracting from getting shit done. I'm outta here. :)
Quickly reviewed and now posted...