03 August 2011

No really...Zazen is boring.


I had this grand idea that I would blog daily about my adventures in sitting alone staring at a wall. I could barely contain my excitement and desire to share this experience with the world. I thought, 'wow, I've got something here. people will want to read about how easy it is to get down and dirty with a blank wall.' Not so much.
Really, it is quite easy to get to the wall and to sit there. I'm rather enjoying the experience. Sometimes I find myself waiting for something magical to happen, but mostly I'm just sitting there adjusting my posture as necessary and holding my hands as per. I sometimes count my out-breaths and I sometimes remind myself that it's not the future so I might as well not think about it. I was also thinking that the past is gone so let it be there. I had a thought I rather enjoyed - Lose the 'to do' list and just do. That's what I'm going to work with for right now - Just do. Nike had an then added 'it'. I suppose I could take it another step further and work with 'do'. That's all - do.
Mu. I'm mulling on Mu as well. When I find myself getting lost in the critical, self-loathing, 'why the hell did I do that' state - I consider Mu. I'm reading this book about the Mu koan and I'm about 1/3 of the way through it. I get stuck when they start talking about how enlightened I'm going to be if I just think about Mu all day, all night, even in my dreams for the next 30 odd years. Brad Warner talks about enlightenment being bullshit (not in so many words). He warns against getting caught up in books or with teachers that promise such enlightenment experiences. I'm reading it with a grain of salt mos' def. I just put a different spin on the 'e' word and take it for what it is.
I took up the running thing again. I did my first one the other day. I ran a wee bit and then walked and then ran a wee bit more and walk some more. Yesterday, I did a wee walk, about a 1.5 km run, a 1.3 km walk, a 1 km run, 1/2 km walk, and 1/2 km run. Today, I did about a 1.5km run, 1.3km walk, 1.5km run, 1/2km walk. We'll see how my hips feel tomorrow. I'm doing alright so far. Why the hell did you break it down like that? Okay, so I don't run the entire stretch at once. I could have added it all up and then said I ran this much and walked this much, but in my INTP mind - that is not accurate. So, to be accurate, that's how it is broken down. I don't think I'll introduce much more running yet. When I run too much I can't walk up the stairs for about a week. Baby steps - or strides :o) Besides, when I run too much Moksha gets tired too quickly. She was lagging behind on the second running section. I had to run backwards to ensure she was away from the vehicle coming up the dirt road. She's not a little girl anymore - she's 49 years old now.
That picture above - I did a search for boring zen images and that was the first one to come up - happens to be from Brad Warner's 'doubtboy' url. Interesting.
Then I found this one:

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