05 May 2011

Time to Eat Your Own Ometepe

Who will Survive the Island of Redemption? Will it be our saviour, Matt? Perhaps the veteran, Mike? What about Steve, the All American NFL man? Or will we have to say goodbye to a good ole boy from the Suth'n States?

Only time will tell.

Dinner of shrimp and scallops (garlic and butter of course), asparagus and other veggies (all steamed) are on the menu for tonight. Side Note: Mom and Dad went out this weekend 'sparagrass hunting in the ditch banks.

I don't know, I'm just not that into Jeff Probst anymore. Do you think he's what Bob Barker was to the Price is Right? I wonder if Bob went though a 'not so much' phase.

Oh wonderful, Ometepe is the first tribe to punt out all of the other tribe...historically in the game the tribe with the most numbers tends to eat their own before it's over.

"Redemption Island" - Ralph arrives and  SURPRISE here's Steve! Everyone is so tripped out that he is there. Matt is so happy to be able to rejoice in the company. All Zapatera is on the jury so far. If one of the Zapetera makes it to final three - they have got a great shot.

My tea water has boiled. Decaf Earl Gray. I already had a Yukon Vodka and Cranberry.


Andrea looks creepy in the night vision camera. Natalie is crying and she doesn't know why - hormone tears. She got emotional because now they have to start knocking everybody off and then she got home sick. Apparently she has been mature beyond her years and then other times her youth shines through. She's only 19. Rob needs to take care of her because she is his main alliance. He just wants to keep each member happy so that they don't realize that he's the one that should be going. Man, he is so good at playing the fucking game! I can't believe. He's like a master manipulator. Linda thinks he's only ever thinking about the game and he's now perfected the process internally. I don't know if Rob is thinking properly...Natalie is only 19 years old and could end up being the youngest person in the history of the game to win if he brings her to finals.

Oh wonderful a Samsung phone - smart phone I think. Shameless plug for the phone.

Via the phone are videos of loved ones: Natalie's mom misses her and daddy is very proud and can't wait to see her. How nice. Mother's Day is this weekend. Andrea's dad is creepy looking, but sounds sincere. Phillip and Rob had their sisters represent and Grant's brother in law told him his (Grant's that is) sister is pregnant. Ashley's mom gave a shout out.

The Redemption kids got videos of their loved ones too. Ralph's buddy told him - his cows are doing great and a couple of the chickens got killed 'doah. Mike's mom - Iraq war vet got to be more connected with his mother while he was in the service. Steve's brother cried. Matt's brother - super cutie. Samsung - did you make the Redemption kids take their picture to show how great the pixilation is? It's the EPIC 4-G from Sprint. I couldn't find a picture of that group of four. I thought it would have been published by now for sure. Guess not.

This is the family time day. Winner of the duel gets it. Four tiles, toss metal ball, and crash them tiles. They get to win love from home. Cool. I bet they gotta pick someone from the Ometepe tribe. Mike is the only one after round one that broke a tile. Matt gets one in the second round. Mike's at 2. Ralph joins in and Steve too. Matt is up to two and Mike is at 3 and Ralph is up there with 2 as well. Steve fucked it up. Matt goofed and Mike stays on Redemption Island. He won the love from family. Two more stay alive with someone going home. Steve misses again - what kind of NFL playa were you? Matt and Ralph are up to 3. Steve MISSES again - dude's going home. MATT stays alive - woot! Ralph as well lives for another day in reality TV. Burn your buff biatch.

Grant's mom Jane looks amazing according to him. Matt's brother Burton and Ralph's buddy Ronnie come on out. Grant can give love those two guys or he can GIVE LOVE to EVERYONE left in the entire game (Ometepe). Man, this would suck arse. Oooh! bible reference....love your brother like you would love yourself. He's going to give the love to the most people and this is the only play here. The talk began with Jesus being asked what the best commandment was and it was love your brother as you love yourself. So, he thought it would be best to give out the most love that he possibly could.

Ralph wished he would have spent the time with his mother tonight because he wants him to not look that great. He was also pissed because he wasn't there for the rest of the people and he would have spent the time with his mom if he could have. Mike asked God and it was what God wanted him to do to help him win the game. He really thinks this is going to win him some votes. I don't think the other tribe is going to care after the family leaves the island. I don't know though...I think he made the right choice though. When you think about it, you know regardless of whether or not it gets him votes if he makes it to final three or two. He won't get there though, the other 2 he sits against will want him gone because he did a nice thing.

So the Ometepe tribe got to spend the entire day with their family. Andrea's dad was pretty sweaty...like from armpit to middle chest. Natalie has never been away from home more than two weeks. That's so nice. She can push through this.
Pierre-Luc Dusseault, a 19-year-old student of applied politics at the Universite de Sherbrooke, now becomes the youngest member of Parliament in Canadian history.

If a 19 year old Canadian can be a Member of Parliament - you can win Survivor honey! Sweet! Phil is going to Dominate! His sister empowered him so much. Rob's sister looks SO BORED. I think Linda is right, I think Rob spends day and night dreaming and thinking about this game. Amber must be happy he's not there right now, she can get a break and get their daughter some therapy (ouch, I thought about taking it out, but that was after I saw the picture of them as a family - Ima leave it in though).
Cute kid!

I wonder if he compares everything in life to the game of Survivor. I bet he comes out with the next best greatest self help analyze and learn to breathe through Survivor Meditation book in about ten years when he comes back for some 25th year anniversary of Rob's first take on Survivor. I know...it's going to be in book stores by August.

Rob is playing Natalie and Grant. Why did Rob get a shirt that says Love you Dada with a picture of his wife and kid? Why did he get something? I don't understand. Did everyone get something? Do you think Amber got a cheque because they let her use her image in the game?

Ooooh! Creepy alimagator thing. Or maybe it was a giant Lizard. Uphill Battle for immunity. Apparently there are only eight days left. Andrea is probably going to Redemption if she doesn't win immunity. He believes that she knows the most strategically about this game - well after Rob and Grant of course. They know exactly what's going on in this game. I honestly think Grant is not that bright. I really don't t think he is.

Wow - they combined puzzle and stairs. It looks pretty high up.

"Whatever you have in your tank, you need to use it right now." I'm inspired, thanks Jeff. Andrea is in the lead and onto her second set. Natalie is no longer in this game. Andrea is again in the lead and Rob picked the wrong board and has fallen behind. Shoot! Andrea made a big mistake too. Rob and Grant are the ones to watch out for and it's a 110 degrees out today. Grant and Rob are on the third set. I haven't even heard Philthy's name in this one. Grant is falling behind...2 mistakes in a row and Rob is sucking air tired. "He is literally carrying his family on his back". Nice one Jeff. What Jeff was referring to is the t-shirt that his sister was allowed to bring him and it has an image of Amber and their daughter on the back...shameless showing of Amber - cha-ching. Rob only has to get to the last step and he has won the challenge. Andrea and Rob each have one left and Rob is running with his shoelaces undone. Would have been awesome if he tripped. I'm sorry, that's not nice. Rob is exhausted. He killed his legs. Now he's going to pass out or something. He's going to be sick. He's cramping. I hope he gets sent home. The people that were right close to him aren't even this tired. The tribe had to help him stand up and then he almost fell over. He's a'ight though - "let's go back to camp." They all look pretty pissed that he won immunity.

Rob's gold and he gets to pick who is going home. Apparently Andrea is going home and she thinks Phil is the one that will go. They made a plan and now Rob is super annoyed with Phil. He just told the camera that he believes if he annoys everyone enough, they will take him to the final three so that he can sit beside them at the very end ... only two choices, why not pick the one that didn't annoy you. However, Phillip knows that Rob and Grant have the immunity idol. Philthy is going to expose that dirty little secret soon! I hope it's tonight at tribal. SWEET. Don't fail me now Philthy boy.

The jury joins the game.

Andrea - When someone asks you if you are worried or not, they are talking about you - no one else, just you. Natalie gets treated like a kid - Are you scared? Is this exciting? She said nope. Philip, it could be you tonight? What are you doing? Are you giving up...Hmmm, Philip is 52 and that kind of endurance challenge was not his forte. Natalie - are you a target 'cause you can win the game and you are competitive? Grant - are you playing a psychological game? Of course because you can tell when someone is fake and when someone is real. Awesome and informative Grant. Phil has no alliances broken, he's the senior statesman and he leads by example and he's someone you want around this game. And Jeff is sure that no one feels worried tonight. This is a tough decision and Rob is happy that he's wearing the necklace. One more question for Phillip, "What would your great grandfather say to you right now, "he would say you've done everything right so far in this game and hold the faith." He should have blown that idol out of the water right then and there. That was his chance. Shakespeare couldn't have scripted it better.

Andrea was blind-sided: You're out of here! How stooopid though! They are worried about her alliance with Matt, so let's put her over there so they can work on getting their relationship corrected and they can start taking over everyone with even greater strength.

Ometepe: Rob (Harper), Grant (yoga instructor), Philthy (destination domination), Ashley (giggle), and Natalie (19).

Redemption Island: Matt (Jesus' son), Mike (war veteran), Ralph (chicken and cow farmer), and Andrea (Mary of Magdalene).

Jury Duty: Steve (NFL old guy), Julie (buff old gal), and David (puzzler).

Home Skillets: Francesca, Krista, Russell, Kristina, Sarita, and Stephanie.

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