You could probably tell me who won...we've got it recorded. It started at 1700hrs here in the west and thankfully satellite TV keeps us current across North America.
So, where were we when we left last week?
We've got Matt, Mike, Andrea, and Grant on Redemption Island
We've got Boston Rob, Ashley, Natalie, and Philthy still strong on the Ometepe Tribe (okay, I know it is technically Murlonio, but that didn't pan out so well at all did it?)
We've got David, Steve, Julie, and now Ralph on Jury Duty.
The others have been at home so long I'm surprised I even continue to write down their names anymore: Francesca, Stephanie, Kristina, Krista, Russell, and Sarita.
The final duel: For the final duel. It ain't a duel though. It's a balancing challenge. Put your foot on one end of a teetertotter with a ceramic vase on the other end. When you let it go, you're out of the game, unless you're the last one that is. Mike, Andrea, Matt, and Grant - Grant was almost out and so was Matt. Mike had to make a quick recovery too and Andrea seems to be the only one after 40 minutes without fault. GRANT is out first. After one hour, Andrea did start to get tired. MATT is out of this challenge and out of this GAME. OMG - hahahaha! Guess your god was just letting you know that this is all an illusion - you are who you are and your faith is what it is - this game ain't gonna change anything. MIKE is out. Maybe there will be an all female alliance and they will get ROB out. This is friggen awesome. Phillip was the only one to clap for Andrea after she won. That was so cool. I'm glad she made it back to the game. I would have maybe been more happy if Matt continued, but this is just as good. No need to speculate on what really didn't happen. Matt's shirt was so dirty. They must be ripe. I bet this way of getting people out of this game takes away the responsibility from the people who vote them out in the first place. They don't need to accept what they did...m'eh.
Phillip seemed pretty happy to Andrea come back. I think he's going to pull out the Gorillion and tear down Boston Rob. Andrea is working the "girl" angle - saying that people thought they were all Rob's puppets. Weird, she's trying to get rid of Phillip...maybe because she doesn't want to go. Ashley is hoping Andrea will join her and Natalie and get rid of Rob or Phil.
Natalie CONTINUES to dig into her armpits....just let it happen. Let the hair grow, we can't see it from here. Rob really wants Ashley out of this game. I think it's a game loser to keep Natalie around - she is the youngest player ever and that will come up during the jury questioning.
Immunity Challenge: balance beam walk and collect some bags along the way...then you go to a puzzle board where you have to put the numbers 1-100 in order. How stupid. The challenges suck this year. One through ten is the first section. Rob is leading with his second bag back. Andrea and Ashley are next. Rob and Ashley aren't that far apart...Rob is a little bit ahead. Natalie and Phil really ain't in the game anymore. Phil is super far behind. Ashley is now leading. She's out for the fourth and final bag. Andrea and Rob finally went out for the forth bag. ASHLEY WINS IMMUNITY again! Rob you're a sucka. Maybe they kept you around because you really aren't that much of a threat. She would have been sent home two times in a row but she won the necklace and she's staying in this game. I hope Rob goes and then Phil wins in the end.
Andrea finally says something about wanting to vote out Rob. Hopefully the other two girls jump on this. I know they don't like Phil and stuff, but they need to let that go. Now Phil and Boston Rob are gathering Natalie and Ashley and Rob announces - "Sorry Andrea, but you're going home tonight." Rob still has the idol. He'll use his idol and then win the whole thing. Damn. Now it seems like they are going to vote out Andrea - because they did a pinky swear that Natalie and Ashley will promise to vote out Phillip out next time. Andrea heard Phil talk to Rob about the whole thing so she went to talk to the other two girls and maybe they will vote out Rob. I hope so. He says that he doesn't need the idol. He ain't that cocky, he'll play it. If he doesn't play it - man, that would be so awesome. I hope he's out of this game. I just don't like that he's so fricken cocky. I mean, okay, if he gets to the final three - I'd vote for him ONLY if Phillip wasn't sitting beside him. If Phil was sitting next to him, I'd vote for Phillip. All of the girls really did kind of ride coattails.
We're at Tribal now. Rob is getting all nervous now. Andrea really did start stirring the shit which was awesome. So, now he's going to play the idol and stay around for one more Tribal. I wonder who will be going to the jury. He is now playing the idol. Smart move on his part. He didn't even need to play it. How can those people be that stupid? Jeff - you're shirt, not my style or is it?
I love that they keep on showing the turtles crossing into the ocean from the beach. Rob is hoping that it's him and the two girls. 10 years and four times on Survivor. He's one challenge away really. He knows that Phil is his biggest threat right now, or does he? I think Natalie might win if she is there with him in the end. She's really going to have to play the, "but I'm just 19" card for the jury. She'll be sincere, I just hope they don't rip her apart emotionally.
Puzzle maze and solve a word phrase puzzle thing. I wonder if they just rigged this year for Rob to win it. I think they may have. Let's see. Rob is supposed to be the best at puzzles and he hasn't really won much to this point in the game. Phil and Rob make it to their first stations. There are three left to go. Ashley got her's and Natalie is kind of slow at the challenges. Ashley dropped one of her bags and I'm not quite sure why. Ashley started to just follow Rob after find the first bag and so they both found their forth bags together and they will be in it to win it. Rob has to win this if he's going to stay in the game. I mean unless they are going to keep him around ONCE again when it wouldn't be smart at all. Phillip and Natalie were so confused the entire time nearly. Ashley followed Rob, but I think she would have found her stuff anyhow. I think it drove Rob a bit batty. Rob says to her "let's just work together" when Ashley was ahead. How fucking stupid are you Ashley? For real? ROB won the final immunity. I hate this game. Rob's all teary and happy. He's going to win this game. Whatever, BR. How is it that he managed to stay for so long? I guess they don't see it from our angle. "It's because of Amber that I'm here again." Linda just said, "she's fucking someone else while you're gone." Then he turns around and says, "now I gotta figure out which one of these idiots I'm going to send home tonight." If he didn't say stupid shit like that, maybe he would be alright. But who am I? I've been slamming him this entire season. Phil has to stay around and they need to get rid of Natalie. If Natalie, Rob, and Phil make it to the final three - Phillip might win this game. If Ashley and Natalie are sitting with Rob, Rob will win. I don't even care right now who wins. I want Phil to win and if Phil is gone I don't care. Natalie might win though. If she's against Rob, people on the tribe might think that it's really great that the youngest player ever beat Boston Rob - the Survivor 'god'. Natalie said she would rather lose Survivor than lose a friend in Ashley. So it could be a tie at the end of this Tribal.
Jeff went through and asked everyone how they convinced Rob to take them to the final three. Why does it take Rob's vote? I'm wondering, really? Ashley thinks she can win this game and that she has a better shot at it than Phil and Natalie. I wonder if Natalie's feelings were hurt and she decides to vote out Ashley. Natalie voted out Ashley. She should have had it go to a tie breaker or something. I hope you win PHIL. :) Time will tell.
I have a question? How is it that Jeff pulls out all the votes we are already sure of first? How is this possible? Do they edit it through? Ashley still thinks that she's the biggest threat Rob could have had in the finals. Maybe she would have been.
EWWWWWwwwwww - they had to blur out Philthy's crotch in his fucsia panties. He admits, "I was never proud to wear these bum coloured undies" and his Great, great, great, great grandfather Jessum Herring would have said, "sometimes all good things come to an end" and he would be pleased to see those things come to an end. Did this dude exist Phil? He burned them up in the fire. He should have kept them, someone would have bought them off e-bay.
Now the jury joins up and the three of them sitting there waiting to get berated. Phil is wearing his red blanket and feather on his forehead. Awesome.
Natalie - Social skills won this for her and brought her this far. She stuck with Rob and this has carried her this far and she deserves to be here. She would be the youngest Survivor winner if they decided to vote for her.
Phil - he had to change his strategy when BR got off the helicopter. Then he turned around and apologized to Rob and then he came up with the "Stealth" thing and that's why he is still here in this game. They are all saying that they owe their game plan to him and that's why he is here. Why the HELL didn't he say that he played like an asshole so someone would take him to the final three.
Boston Rob - I ignored what he said. He's been here "basically 10 years on and off". Whatever, he's been here for 117 days. That's all....there are 3,652 or 3,653 days in a ten year period. So, to me that means he doesn't think about or do anything but Survivor. He loves the game and he probably has stacks and stacks of journals outlining different strategies.
Andrea - she wanted to know who Phillip is. He said he's Phillip Sheppard. Then he told her that if she didn't want to vote for him, she didn't have to. She then asked Natalie why she had a creepy relationship with Rob. Silly questions.
Ashley - got into an argument with Philip. She told him that she didn't want him to talk at all and he continued to. She got pissed with Natalie for not being honest. She then talked about how she put Rob on a pedestal. She didn't ask anyone really any questions.
Grant - you look like an old guy with dreadlocks. It's time for them to go. Or maybe he should keep the hair on his face. He was wearing his comfy yoga pants and a tank. He didn't ask anything.
Ralph - He asked Natalie why she was sticking like glue to Rob. He wants to know how it is that she didn't talk to anyone. He told Phil that he wanted the whole chicken on his head. And Ralph asked him if Phil liked him at all...he said he did and that he liked his work ethic the best.
Matt - he called Rob a liar in the game. He wants to know how he can keep the line drawn and not be all fucked up on the outside.
Julie - She believes that they should all be there sitting humble because they didn't play the game very well. She asked the question, "Would your parents be proud of the way you played?" She said that she wouldn't be proud if she was Natalie's mother because she was Rob's servent the entire game. Then for some reason, Phil said, "to hell with you" to Julie.
Mike - he got closer to god and more inner peace in this game. Did you learn anything about yourselves while you were out here? He actually asked a good question. Natalie is more strong and capable than she realized. She appreciates her family and who she is today. Rob said he learned that he needs to stop playing games and this is the last time that he's playing Survivor. Phil says that he feels blessed and that he can stand on his own and be an outcast and be okay and work through the service and care for his 16 year old son. I want Phil to win SO bad.
Steve - good for you for staying so long. He's proud of her for being 19 and still in the game. He calls Rob a warrior. He apologizes to Phil for being who he is - what an asshole thing to say.
David - no questions. He's going to talk to the jury. He is encouraging everyone to vote for Rob. He is a mind controller and you all bought it and one by one by one, you were all blind-sided. "I'm a lawyer." He doesn't know how to talk to people, he only knows how to talk to juries. Rob didn't even need to do anything.
Now we'll see who wins - everyone is voting. I think Ralph might be on the only one to vote for Phillip. I really hope at least five more vote for him though! I want you to win Phil. I guess Phil wasn't really playing the crazy card, he must really be. If he wasn't he would have said all of that during the jury thing. He would have turned straight and said that he played a jerk-off so someone would take him to the final three. Phil is a handsome guy when he cleans up. Rob won. Woopee. Only good thing? I'm glad Andria got the big money from our work pool.
Grant has hurt feelings and doesn't really want to talk much to Rob anymore. He said that the game is a reflection of who you are in real life and I don't think he likes the person Rob became in the game. Rob said that the relationships are real, but in the end he was trying to win a million dollars for his family. Matt looks good with his hair cut and Grant looks much better with the shorter hair.
One thing I have to say about Rob - he said that he learned some things about Phillip. He knew that if he showed Phil just a little bit of love and attention he would be loyal to him the entire time. Phil grew up in family of 12 and he left home at 16. Was there love between Andrea and Matt? She thinks he's cool and cute and yes. Matt is in Nashville and she's in Wisconsin and they like each other. They showed a picture of Mike out there in his war time - Marine Corp. His heart bleeds green.
Was Phil a special agent for real or not? And so then Phil ends up saying all this stuff about being an asshole during the game so that Rob would keep him around. Why didn't you say anything during the jury questioning or when you were supposed to talk about why you were deserving of winning? That may have gotten you more than one vote. He is in fact a federal agent. Why does everyone give Phil such a hard time. They even interviewed someone to ask if Phil was actually a Federal Agent. Who the fuck cares? Does it matter in the end or what? Dear fucking lord - Rob won the People's Choice award. Unbelievable. Grant is now married. He said he proposed as soon as he landed - he told us they were already engaged. David is proposing to Carolina - she's asking him to shut it down right now. I think she wants to say no, but she's saying yes and she even said something about a blind-side. I thought she was going to say no. That was a really weird thing.
Season 23 - Redemption Island is back. They have 16 newbies and 2 old ones and they will be in the South Pacific.